Virtual Worry Doll

On the one hand, I am so happy that is summer and I need to remember to count my blessings every single day. We are headed up north to my husband’s family camp in the Adirondacks, absolutely beautiful. On the other hand, so many people will be there and I just want to get ready to go with a clean slate open heart. So I decided to write my worries, kind of like a virtual worry doll, and leave them here. I also saw a friend last night who asked us when we were planning on having kids, which to be fair I asked her first because she is getting married soon and has ALWAYS loved a baby. I just thought they would want one right away. Anyways, when I told her my story, which has become a THING now by the way, I just watched her writhe in discomfort and then change the subject. I’m not sure how to feel about that, except just assume the best and that she was probably just trying to be polite or something. What do I want, a sympathy parade? Ok so I am going to now write my worries (and set them free, not onto you, just out there…) -Will we ever have kids? when? will they be biological- or will we adopt? -Will I have to have a hysterectomy? A laparoscopic surgery? Am I going to have to xinay on the vagagay? -And lastly…what if I get pregnant this month? Will it last? What do I do about treatment then… I know what y’all are thinking. I’m thinking it too… And so I shall leave on this note. To promise and count my blessings. xo, M

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